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Purpose in Life

Many people express the feeling of having no purpose in their life, particularly parents who have dedicated their life to bringing up their children and then once the children have left the nest, the parent feels at a loss as to what to do with their life. Retired people can also suffer this feeling of lack of purpose once they are no longer required to work and can choose what to do with their days. It may seem strange that when we have the freedom to choose how to spend our days to please ourselves, we are at a loss as to what to do as is it such an unfamiliar space.


Some people just drift along in life without seeming to know what path to take and this can be because we may feel helpless when having to make decisions for ourselves bearing in mind that our childhood, schooldays and maybe even our working life have been regimented by others.


So, how can we start to find our purpose in life? It is a good idea to take a look at our skill sets and talents that we brought into this world. These gifts were given to us to use for the benefit of serving this world in the best possible way, and no-one else on this planet has the exact same match of skills as you do.


Start by sitting down with a pen and large piece of paper and write a long list of all your skills, characteristics and attributes that you can offer to this world. Write down some of the obvious things e.g. good at singing, writing, painting, cooking, parenting children, negotiating, public speaking, teaching etc.etc. Then look at some of your social skills i.e. being the peacemaker, being a good carer, making others laugh, being trustworthy and reliable or kind and helpful. Investigate into what you are really good at and where you have to put in little effort because it comes so naturally to you.


If you are struggling with your list, then ask a trusted friend for a few ideas, as those close to us are often more aware of our gifts than we are ourselves.


Take a good look at this long list of attributes and work out which ones come more easily to you than others and which ones give you the most joy in life. Maybe you have noticed how uplifting it is to see someone working in a job that they obviously love doing. Then ask yourself how you can best serve the world with your individual gifts and talents? Write down anything that comes to mind. Don’t rationalise it, but just allow any thoughts to come through and make a note of them. This will then give you some direction towards finding your purpose in life.


It can also be helpful to think back to when you were a young child and remember all the things you dreamt of doing when you grew up. This was a time in your life before numerous misguided people informed you that you would never be good enough to do this; or you would not earn any money doing that; or you didn’t come from the right background to do the other. It is amazing how others will aim to disempower you from your dreams!! As a child we believe that we can do anything we want and it is sad that others around us often succeed in knocking that belief out of us.


Again write down whatever comes to mind regarding your childhood dreams, no matter if it now seems unrealistic. These were things that excited us then, prior to us putting lots of obstacles in our own way to stop us achieving them.


Now, we will move on to some serious questions for you to answer.


If you imagine yourself being present at your own funeral service (and we are not being morbid here), what would you most like to hear said about your life and all the things that you achieved?


What gives you the most joy in life?


How can you best serve humanity?


If you had been given enough money to live off easily for the rest of your life, what would you be doing with your life?


If you had only six healthy months left to live, what would you do with your life? 


The answers to these questions should start to reveal a few clues as to what is important to you and what would give you the most joy to get involved in doing. Many people would like to be doing their hobbies but think that it is not possible to enjoy doing your hobbies and get paid for it. However, this is just a fallacy, as these days, there are multitudinous opportunities for people to do what they love and make a good business from it, particularly with the possibilities of marketing on the internet.


So many people are doing work that they hate and that is of no value to anyone and certainly detrimental to the health and happiness of the individual involved. It is also very unlikely to get paid your true value if they are not fulfilling your purpose in life. You wouldn’t want to do that, would you?


Another clue to finding out your purpose in life is discussed in James Redfield’s book “The Celestine Prophecy”. He suggests how we can often gain clues to our purpose in life by identifying the pathways that our parents have taken in life.


To do this, we first work out what each of our parents’ lives represent as regards what they value and what is true for them and then identify the meaning that has for us as offspring. We can then discover why we chose to be born to these particular parents and what we can learn from them. We will have a natural desire to improve upon what our parents do in their life and we will take up a position somewhere in between what they both stand for in the way they approach life. This then provides us with a foundation on which to play out our life.


It is fascinating when we start to look at this and find out whether or not we are fulfilling our purpose according to the factors we have identified as being our truth. A truth that lies somewhere in between the stance in life that each of our parents have taken.


Are you “on purpose” or not? I find it well worth asking myself this question every now and again to find out if I am living life according to my truth and values. I know that I have spent some of my life off track and leading my life according to the values and purpose of my partner at the time. Believe me this did not work well and it took me a while to get myself back on purpose again.


When you have worked out your purpose, it will be great if you feel like sharing it with me by e-mail, and even better sharing it with my website readers if that feels comfortable. I would only do that with your agreement, but it is very powerful if we all help one another. 



Please contact me at trevayne@polarhealth.co.uk
8 School Lane, Tewin
 Herts. AL6 0JR
07967 584737